My Unhappiness is Someone Else's Fault (by Janet Daughtry, MDiv, Certified Life Coach)

This is the lie that says that someone else or some external situation is responsible for my unhappiness. It is the lie that says I am not responsible in any way for my own unhappiness or misery. It is someone else's fault. It is the lie that says I have no choice in the matter. It's really the ultimate blame game and its' not a good way to live!

Well, what is wrong with this picture? The problem with this false belief is that as long as someone else is the reason I am unhappy, I don't have to take personal responsibility for my life. I don't have to take ownership of my life. I can move out of the driver's seat to the"victim" seat.

Whoa is me! What I have really done is handed over my emotional well being to someone else. After all it's not my fault- right? It may be easy to blame something or someone else for my situation but it certainly isn't any way to have any joy or live the abundant life God wants me to live. The bottom line is I really do have a choice! When I come to that realization, its liberating!!!

No one can have that much power over me unless I give it to them. Plain and simple! Healthy and mature people take personal responsibility for theirchoices and their emotions! I like the way Dr. WilliamBackus, a Christian psychologist, expresses it in his book"Telling Yourself the Truth. "People don't make you angry, sad, sick, etc. - you allow yourself to be angry, sad, sick, or whatever the negative feelings you are experiencing. Indulging in temper tantrums is learned behavior. You learned how to throw temper tantrums and you can learn to stop." Amen to that! So if the choice is yours that no one else can make you unhappy unless you allow them to, then I believe it is also true that no one else can ultimately make you happy either. That responsibility is also yours. It's a choice you make! You can choose to be happy regardless of circumstances or the people around you. Your lack of happiness is not someone else's fault! When we realize that we are in thedriver's seat, that we do have choices and are notpowerless in life, life can really be exciting. We can geta new sense of ownership about life and with that does comegreater joy and greater contentment!

Be Affectionate to One Another

In many parts of the Christian community, the level of relationship as a 'family' is sadly missing. It is unfortunate that people attend church week after week and hardly know the people they regularly sit next to in the church services. Life has become so busy with natural concerns that most believers suffer from a severe deficiency of relationships with their fellow believers. His plan was and still is to have people who demonstrate His covenant nature in their relationships with one another.

The apostle Paul talks about these types of covenant relationships in Romans 12:10 when he says, "Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another." This phrase expresses the idea of a love between friends that is authentic, sincere, tender and warm. It represents two or more friends who love each other just as deeply as if they were members of the same family.

The word "preferring" means to esteem, to admire, to highly respect, to value very highly. It represents the attitude of a person who values a friend so highly that he deeply desires the very best to come to pass for his friend - even if it means that his friend is blessed at his own expense. This means there is no room for jealousy or competition where this kind of love abounds.

Do you have these kinds of relationships in the Christian community? If so, you could count yourself very blessed, for the lives of many believers are vacant of such relationships. This is all the more reason to make sure you take the time to really express to these people whom you love as family just how deeply you love them.

Prayer & Supplication

In Ephesians 6:18, Paul talks about the spiritual armour, "Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit..."

The spear and lances used by the Roman army varied greatly in size, shape and length. These weapons were devised to be used to attack an enemy from a distance. They were thrown with great force and hurled to strike an enemy from afar. As they were thrown at different distances, they came in all sizes and shapes. The particular lance chosen by a soldier depended on how it was to be used.

By revelation, Paul begins to compare these various lances to the various kinds of prayer God has made available to us. This is why he said, "Praying always, with all prayer and supplication..." When a believer uses prayer, it becomes a lance that can be thrown forth into the spirit realm against the works of the adversary. By forcibly hurling this divine instrument of prayer into the face of the enemy, a believer can exert great spiritual power, literally attacking the devil from a distance in order to stop major obstacles from developing up close in his personal life.

Don't wrongly assume that all prayer is of the same kind. Just as Roman soldiers used all kinds of lances in battle, Paul lets us know that there are many forms of prayer. For example, there is a prayer of faith, the prayer of agreement, the prayer of intercession, the prayer of supplication, the prayer of petitition, the prayer of consecration, the prayer of thanksgiving, united prayer and so forth.

Paul instructs us to use every form of prayer that has been available to us as it is needed. No one kind of prayer is better than the others; each serves a different and necessary purpose in the life of faith.

Never forget that prayer is a vital piece of your spiritual weaponry. If you neglect this strategic piece of weaponry, you will find that the enemy keeps attacking you from up close. But as you learn to pray with authority, you will develop the ability to strike the enemy from a distance and therefore maintain a victorious position in life.

God has placed the lance of prayer at your disposal, so you can be assured of absolute and total victory.

His Grace

"But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)" Ephesians 2:4-5, NKJV.

It is actually quite prideful to walk around feeling like you are entitled to things. We don't deserve or demand good things in our lives. God has lovingly blessed us with His grace and mercy. Mercy is being spared from the bad things we deserve and grace is being blessed with good things that we don't deserve. We don't even have an entitlement to be loved by God.

In other words, we should go through life in humility and in gratefulness. We should wake up each day and thank God for all the gracious things His does for us. Thank Him for air to breath and water to drink. Thank Him that He doesn't abandon us when we sin.

Just as we aren't entitled to God's love and goodness towards us, we are also not entitled to love and goodness from other people. We aren't born with absolute rights to have our needs meet by others. We aren't entitled to getting our way, either.

We can surely avoid a great deal of anger and bitterness if we keep things in their proper perspective. It is fine to want your needs met, but it is wrong to demand and expect them to be met.

The fifth chapter of 1 Thessalonians tells us that we should be thankful in everything, rejoice always, and never stop praying. It even says that this is God's will for us.

Emotional Pains

Did you know that emotional pain can actually be a good thing?

We have all heard the expression, "No pain, no gain". We all know that in order to get our physical bodies toned and in shape we must endure the painful after-effects of rigorous exercise. Well, our mental and emotional health can be painful also and can actually benefit us much like exercise does our bodies.

The ideal world would be one where we never experience any significant emotional problems. But, because we're not perfect and our natural nature is sinful, it is inevitable that problems are going to surface. Some will be caused by ourselves and some by others.

These problems and events can be an important signal to us that somewhere in the core of us there is a thought pattern that needs correcting. Therefore, our emotional suffering can become an important catalyst for our growth and maturity. These seasons in our life can alert us and even motivate us to change when we have strayed off course.

We can become wiser and stronger through trials. Our experiences can also serve as lessons that can benefit others who are going through similar things. We will actually know what it is like to walk in their shoes and can offer them hope and encouragement.

Sometimes we become very hard-headed and stubborn and God actually has to use discomfort in our lives to get our attention and to teach us life lessons. We can actually look back to those things eventually and be glad we went through them. We will be grateful for the wisdom and toughness gained from our temporary pain.

"...but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perserverance; and perserverance, character; and character, hope." (Romans 5:3-4, NIV)

"...Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4, NIV)

What Is A Miracle

I expect a miracle everyday and I am going to believe and claim it. Why? Simply because our God is a miracle-working God. This is the blog that will be a point for encouragement for those who are yet to experience the miraculous works of God. It will be a diary for our fellow brethren who wish to share the miracles they encounter or experience. Let God’s name be exalted on high. Miracles are going to take place everyday. Sometimes, they are somewhat subtle, but other times, it is unique, evident and overwhelming. What then is a miracle? Someone once said, “Coincidence is when God wants to remain anonymous.” Well, miracles are when God reveals Himself. All glory and honor and praise belong to Him. Without Him there would be no miracles!


Having divine health is a miracle.

When the impossible happens is a miracle.

When you are dying of cancer and the doctor has given up on you, God touched you and healed you…it is a miracle.

When you are down to your down to your last dollar, have piles of bills of bills to be paid, a check from an unknown source arrives. That is a miracle.
It’s when you’ve prayed for a specific purpose and that prayer is answered.

It is when there is no earthly reason something wonderful has happened……

Share with us what God has done in your life. Email to rejoice468@yahoo.com and we will post your testimonies at http://www.joyalive-miracles.blogspot.com

Confrontation

It is often difficult to confront someone regarding an offence. Do you think confrontation is necessary? Ignoring confrontation is often the cause of bad feelings. Those ugly feeling can reside in a person, churning away until he comes so upset that he can hardly think straight.

Personally, I believe it is better to say what or how you feel and get over with it than to allow those emotions to turn into an ugly monster, just waiting for the opportune moment to attack the victim. This happens when ugly emotions go unchecked. Confrontation, though uncomfortable, may be less painful than having to apologize later for erupting in a fit of flesh like a volcano that spews destructive lava all over its surroundings.

Really, it is about the issue of honesty. Are we honest about how we think and feel? Inside they seethe with anger towards someone about a perceived offence; yet on the outside, they smile and pretend as if everything is all right.

When you refuse to confront an offence, you are just as wrong as the one who violated your rights. Jesus said…”if they brother trespass against thee, rebuke him, if he repents, forgives him – (Luke 17:3). If you are going to be mature in your relationships, you must learn how to confront others when you feel they have wronged you. It may be difficult to do that, but it’s a lot less painful and leaves fewer scars than does a soul that is filled with bitterness and resentment.

Prayer does wonder

Prayers resolve a lot of problems by itself. Prayer will put you in a position where God can speak to your own heart. After praying, if you still sense that you are supposed to confront the other person, pray for that person first. The Spirit of God may give you a strategy regarding the situation, what to say, when and how to say it.

Confrontation with prayer will bring you to a new level where you can deal with the issue in the right spirit.

Don’t be judgmental

Do not treat the other person as an enemy. Your relationship may be going through some rough times, but you must view the two of you as being on the same side. The purpose of this confrontation is not to prove how wrong the other persons is; it is to learn how to work better together and keep the channel of communication open.

Better Parenting Tips

We have a choice: Either we teach our children good values or we abandon their future to chance. If we don’t teach our children, somebody else will.

Consider the influences on our children, television programmes, movies, questionable music, neighbourhood kids, internet, printed materials and the media. How about the peer pressures from classmates? Who’s really teaching them?

For most parents, the honest answer is that others have far more influence on their children than they do.

How can we gain and maintain proper influence over what our children learn? How can we help them learn proper values and standards? If not, how can we become the primary influence?

Are we the guiding force in shaping our children’ thoughts and moral standards? The pressures can be staggering. It’s no wonder so many parents feel overwhelmed when they consider their child-rearing responsibilities.

These may be some practical keys to bringing up successful children:

The Key of education.

The pattern of a child’s life is often established by age 3. After this age basic patterns of behaviour change only with considerable difficulty; the child’s personality is largely set.

At age 3, a child will learn a great deal through formal education. Reading to your children will broaden their world and sets the stage for them to satisfy their intellectual curiosity. You can help your children learn to love books.

Encourage them to read books that match their interest. Make time to take them to the library to browse among the books of their choice.

The Key of Personal Involvement

Being a parent is a complex responsibility. Many parents, busy with their jobs, careers and other work pressures, are quick to give money and other material things to their children. It’s too easy to overlook the fact that their children are craving for time to be with their children.

Children simply need their parents. They really want their parental involvement, beside love, attention, support and encouragement. Get involved with your children. You will reap rich dividends for yourself and them.

The Key of discipling in love

Parents should be sensitive in guiding their families. They should set sensible rules for their children according to their ages. Peace requires order and order requires certain rules. Parents must take time to explain why such rules exist.

Of course, parents must follow the same rules. They should be the role models for their children.

The Key of hugging, holding and reassuring

A parent should never feel embarrassed to show affection through hugging and holding his children. All children need affection and reassurance to know that their parents really love them. When they succeed at just about anything, encourage them, letting them know you are pleased about their success.

Parents, love your children and teach them while you can. Take advantage of the time you have as parents.

Managing Change

Managing change and dealing with its implications will differ from person to person. There are broadly three types of reaction to change:

Resistant

Why resistance? The reasons being most people refuse to accept new ideas and approaches. They are also reluctant to undergo re-training or unlearn what they have been so accustomed. For this group of people, change means much re-working and adjustment and they are unsure whether they could cope.

Indifferent

Change is viewed as something going on around them. The view of the indifferent person might be one of avoidance until some form of acceptance becomes absolutely necessary. The indifferent person often believes that his or her world will remain unchanged and that someone else will be affected or will do what is necessary. Apathy often accompanies this attitude to change with an "I can cope with it" mentality.

Receptive and open

These people are receptive to new ideas and prepared to embrace the reality of a situation recognising what needs to be improved or done differently. It is not necessarily about the wanton desire for change for its own sake. Change will happen so there is a lot to be said for being a part of the process at an organisational level and accepting this reality at a personal level.

Why do so many people respond so negatively to change?

Positive elements of change can include the creation of a better set of circumstances, the fun of being involved in something different, the opportunities presented from a new venture or means of employment. However in the short term change can also mean loss, discontinuity, and the destruction of a familiar and "safe" way of life.... "the good old days". Consequently feelings of insecurity, a lack of trust in the hierarchy and feelings of being sold down the river can lead people to savagely protect the status quo. A lack of understanding, a lack of trust and fear of the outcome are perhaps some of the key reasons that lead people to reject change.

Question: Consider the following elements of your own life

Work environment
Work relationships
Circle of friends
Personal relationships
Family
Where you live
The job you do
Your financial status
Your health

How many of the above elements have changed for you during the past five years? It is highly likely that many if not all of these major life elements will have changed to some degree. How many of these changes, good or bad, simply happened and how many of them did you actually influence and affect

An extract on Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in a person's mood, energy, and ability to function. Different from the normal ups and downs that everyone goes through, the symptoms of bipolar disorder are severe. They can result in damaged relationships, poor job or school performance, and even suicide. But there is good news: bipolar disorder can be treated, and people with this illness can lead full and productive lives.
Bipolar disorder causes dramatic mood swings—from overly "high" and/or irritable to sad and hopeless, and then back again, often with periods of normal mood in between. Severe changes in energy and behavior go along with these changes in mood. The periods of highs and lows are called episodes of mania and depression.
Signs and symptoms of mania (or a manic episode) include:
· Increased energy, activity, and restlessness
· Excessively "high," overly good, euphoric mood
· Extreme irritability
· Racing thoughts and talking very fast, jumping from one idea to another
· Distractibility, can't concentrate well
· Little sleep needed
· Unrealistic beliefs in one's abilities and powers
· Poor judgment
· Spending sprees
· A lasting period of behavior that is different from usual
· Increased sexual drive
· Abuse of drugs, particularly cocaine, alcohol, and sleeping medications
· Provocative, intrusive, or aggressive behavior
· Denial that anything is wrong

A manic episode is diagnosed if elevated mood occurs with three or more of the other symptoms most of the day, nearly every day, for 1 week or longer. If the mood is irritable, four additional symptoms must be present.
Signs and symptoms of depression (or a depressive episode) include:
· Lasting sad, anxious, or empty mood
· Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
· Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
· Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed, including sex
· Decreased energy, a feeling of fatigue or of being "slowed down"
· Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
· Restlessness or irritability
· Sleeping too much, or can't sleep
· Change in appetite and/or unintended weight loss or gain
· Chronic pain or other persistent bodily symptoms that are not caused by physical illness or injury
· Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
A depressive episode is diagnosed if five or more of these symptoms last most of the day, nearly every day, for a period of 2 weeks or longer.
A mild to moderate level of mania is called hypomania. Hypomania may feel good to the person who experiences it and may even be associated with good functioning and enhanced productivity. Thus even when family and friends learn to recognize the mood swings as possible bipolar disorder, the person may deny that anything is wrong. Without proper treatment, however, hypomania can become severe mania in some people or can switch into depression.
Sometimes, severe episodes of mania or depression include symptoms of psychosis (or psychotic symptoms). Common psychotic symptoms are hallucinations (hearing, seeing, or otherwise sensing the presence of things not actually there) and delusions (false, strongly held beliefs not influenced by logical reasoning or explained by a person's usual cultural concepts). Psychotic symptoms in bipolar disorder tend to reflect the extreme mood state at the time. For example, delusions of grandiosity, such as believing one is the President or has special powers or wealth, may occur during mania; delusions of guilt or worthlessness, such as believing that one is ruined and penniless or has committed some terrible crime, may appear during depression. People with bipolar disorder who have these symptoms are sometimes incorrectly diagnosed as having schizophrenia, another severe mental illness.
It may be helpful to think of the various mood states in bipolar disorder as a spectrum or continuous range. At one end is severe depression, above which is moderate depression and then mild low mood, which many people call "the blues" when it is short-lived but is termed "dysthymia" when it is chronic. Then there is normal or balanced mood, above which comes hypomania (mild to moderate mania), and then severe mania.
In some people, however, symptoms of mania and depression may occur together in what is called a mixed bipolar state. Symptoms of a mixed state often include agitation, trouble sleeping, significant change in appetite, psychosis, and suicidal thinking. A person may have a very sad, hopeless mood while at the same time feeling extremely energized.
Bipolar disorder may appear to be a problem other than mental illness—for instance, alcohol or drug abuse, poor school or work performance, or strained interpersonal relationships. Such problems in fact may be signs of an underlying mood disorder.
Diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder
Like other mental illnesses, bipolar disorder cannot yet be identified physiologically—for example, through a blood test or a brain scan. Therefore, a diagnosis of bipolar disorder is made on the basis of symptoms, course of illness, and, when available, family history.
Descriptions offered by people with bipolar disorder give valuable insights into the various mood states associated with the illness:
Depression: I doubt completely my ability to do anything well. It seems as though my mind has slowed down and burned out to the point of being virtually useless…. [I am] haunt[ed]… with the total, the desperate hopelessness of it all…. Others say, "It's only temporary, it will pass, you will get over it," but of course they haven't any idea of how I feel, although they are certain they do. If I can't feel, move, think or care, then what on earth is the point?
Hypomania: At first when I'm high, it's tremendous… ideas are fast… like shooting stars you follow until brighter ones appear…. All shyness disappears, the right words and gestures are suddenly there… uninteresting people, things become intensely interesting. Sensuality is pervasive, the desire to seduce and be seduced is irresistible. Your marrow is infused with unbelievable feelings of ease, power, well-being, omnipotence, euphoria… you can do anything… but, somewhere this changes.
Mania: The fast ideas become too fast and there are far too many… overwhelming confusion replaces clarity… you stop keeping up with it—memory goes. Infectious humor ceases to amuse. Your friends become frightened…. everything is now against the grain… you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and trapped.
Suicide
Some people with bipolar disorder become suicidal. Anyone who is thinking about committing suicide needs immediate attention, preferably from a mental health professional or a physician. Anyone who talks about suicide should be taken seriously. Risk for suicide appears to be higher earlier in the course of the illness. Therefore, recognizing bipolar disorder early and learning how best to manage it may decrease the risk of death by suicide.
Signs and symptoms that may accompany suicidal feelings include:
· talking about feeling suicidal or wanting to die
· feeling hopeless, that nothing will ever change or get better
· feeling helpless, that nothing one does makes any difference
· feeling like a burden to family and friends
· abusing alcohol or drugs
· putting affairs in order (e.g., organizing finances or giving away possessions to prepare for one's death)
· writing a suicide note
· putting oneself in harm's way, or in situations where there is a danger of being killed

People with bipolar disorder may need help to get help.
· Often people with bipolar disorder do not realize how impaired they are, or they blame their problems on some cause other than mental illness.
· A person with bipolar disorder may need strong encouragement from family and friends to seek treatment. Family physicians can play an important role in providing referral to a mental health professional.
· Sometimes a family member or friend may need to take the person with bipolar disorder for proper mental health evaluation and treatment.
· A person who is in the midst of a severe episode may need to be hospitalized for his or her own protection and for much-needed treatment. There may be times when the person must be hospitalized against his or her wishes.
· Ongoing encouragement and support are needed after a person obtains treatment, because it may take a while to find the best treatment plan for each individual.
· In some cases, individuals with bipolar disorder may agree, when the disorder is under good control, to a preferred course of action in the event of a future manic or depressive relapse.
· Like other serious illnesses, bipolar disorder is also hard on spouses, family members, friends, and employers.
· Family members of someone with bipolar disorder often have to cope with the person's serious behavioral problems, such as wild spending sprees during mania or extreme withdrawal from others during depression, and the lasting consequences of these behaviors.

Optimism In Life

Optimism – or your lack of it, shapes your entire life. If you lack hope and faith, your actions will reflect this lacklustre attitude. Others will not buy into your dreams and plans because they are not convinced that you will succeed, taking their cue from you. Heartfelt optimism, on the other hand, is magnetic: the stronger you feel it, the more powerful its pull.

You’ll find it easier to attract the right people and opportunities to you. Life will be easier. The trick is to build deep down optimism that exudes a genuine conviction to those around you. The challenge is to believe in the inevitability of your own success

And, as life is one great big self-fulfilling prophesy, keeping optimistic makes a lot of sense. As Winston said, "it does not seem too much use being anything else."

Would you consider yourself to be a positive or a negative person? Do you tend to see the glass as half empty or half full? Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Did you know that God has called all followers of Christ to be optimists? Yes, it's true. The Bible says, "Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things."-Philippians 4:8

Optimism has to come from God. I'm an optimist because I believe in God and His word, "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!" You know what he meant; there is so much good that can happen, that will happen, and is happening to change our world swiftly and beautifully. Optimism generates hope...Hope releases dreams...Dreams set goals...Enthusiasm follows! Then energy and health become a natural lifestyle.

I am an optimist because I believe in God's Presence! God is real and He is all around us. We experience His presence all the time, only we take it for granted too often and we don't call it "God."

I am an optimist, because I believe God has a beautiful plan that includes me and you. God knew exactly where He wanted you to be placed" And so He puts us in places and positions that we can't even imagine today. Give God time and watch Him move. Give God an opportunity to have His way with you.

I am an optimist because I believe in possibilities all around me. Our problem is we don't see the possibilities or we turn them down because of an inferiority complex. All we need is the faith and the vision to see the possibilities all around us.

I am an optimist because I believe in God's providence. He is Jehovah Jireh. His mercies are new every morning.

I am an optimist because I believe in God's pardon. I believe the worst feeling for me is when I have sinned and am guilty. But I am an optimist, because I don't have to worry about the worst news. I am pardoned. I am saved. I have the presence of Christ in my life.

Optimism is wholeness and health. And you cannot be an optimist if you cut yourself off from a belief in a beautiful God who gives us eternal life.

Protect Your Marital Relationship

Men and women were designed to be together, to need each other. Marriage, a natural union of a man and a woman, is divinely ordained. It is the foundation of the family, which in turn stands as the foundation and most important building block of society.

As children grow old enough to shoulder the responsibilities of a family and come to love and honor someone of the opposite sex, it is natural and proper for them to marry – be joined together – and create their own family apart from their parents. Only then should they “become one flesh” by physically uniting in a sexual relationship.

God has intended that marriage and sex – in that order – exist as tremendous blessings to humanity. Their potential for good is boundless. However, the same desires that attract us to members of the opposite sex can post risks unless they are channeled exclusively toward a loving marriage relationship. The temptation to engage in sexual immorality can easily overpower our self-control resulting in adultery.

Adultery is the violation of the marriage covenant by willful participation in sexual activity with someone other than one’s spouse. No sexual relationship of any sort should occur outside marriage.

Sexual relationship within marriage is pleasurable and stable and something for us to enjoy. It is this capacity to convey appreciation, tenderness, devotion and love for our spouse. It can add immeasurably to our sense of well-being and contentment.

Immorality in any form is destructive. “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18). These warnings apply equally to men and women because “God shows no partiality”.

Consider the disastrous effects of the sexual revolution, sexually transmissible diseases (STDs), AIDS which take a frightening toll in lives. Broken homes are the main consequences of sexual immorality and shattered marriages resulting from sexual infidelity..

Divorce makes even deeper personal problems. Custody fights go on for years and children are affected. The home could not provide any warm, comfort and security that builds confidence and hope. Lack of hope contributes to the increase in the number of suicides and accidents.

Lust is the beginning of adultery and immorality. Our actions originate in our thoughts, in the desires that float through our minds. Make no mistake. Opportunities to sin will come. We must control our sensual desires by replacing them with an unselfish concern for others.

Faithfulness is the key to stability in marriage. This in turn will result in great companionship. We need someone special who an share our ups and downs, triumphs and failures. No one can fill this role like a mate who shares with us a deep love and commitment.

Walking Through the Valleys of Life

In this life, we face trials & tribulations. We are constantly exposed to a range of strains and stresses. However, we can learn from several strategies to lesson the load:

1. Learn from trials and suffering. They can help us learn new skills. Learning is done best through difficult circumstances and experiences.
2. Count your blessings. When we focus on pain, we often forget how good life has been to us. Paul said we should always be thankful (Phil 4:6). The results of giving thanks is always a “peace which surpasses all understanding” (Verse 7).
3. Don’t be a prisoner of your suffering. Severe trials can cause emotional paralysis. We need to remain active because inactivity further devastates morale. Look for activities that will keep you engaged, either mentally or physically.
4. Find someone with whom you can share your load. Many people undergoing severe trials make the mistake of trying to handle them alone. We need human contact. “Two are better than one….But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
5. Break the trial into bite=sized bits. When your difficulty or workload is daunting, divide it into manageable chores.
6. Take life one day at a time. People battling depression, emotional struggles and difficulties in general often share a self=defeating mind-set. Their emotions tell them their trial will never end. We need to adopt an attitude that realizes that this trial, too, shall pass – as most difficulties do. Adopt the psalmist’s perspective: “This is the day which the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it” (Pslam 118:24).
7. Don’t be frustrated by trifling issues. Learn to put minor problems behind you and make decisions of lesser importance with a minimum of stress and worry.
8. Eat a balanced, nourishing diet. Our bodied and minds are much less able to deal with stress and difficulties if we do not provide them with the necessary nutrients.
9. Exercise regularly. Proper exercise relieves stress, provides a feeling of well-being and helps us sleep better – all of which are important for our contentment and mental stability.
10. Provide yourself with regular rest and relaxation. God commanded that we rest every week on the Sabbath day. We also need relaxing time on a daily basis.
11. Develop a sense of humor. “A cheerful heart is good medicine (Proverbs 17:22). Humor helps us rise above stresses. Laughter truly is effective medicine.
12. Realize that ultimately all things are in God’s able hands. David urges us to “commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him..” (Psalm 37:5).

7 UPS IN YOUR LIFE

1. Prayer-Up – start each day with prayer and end each day with prayer. Satan is coming as a roaring lion to devour us. Pray in the spirit on all occasions. Put on the full armour of God.

2. Show-Up – Places that you are going or things that you do. It is a difference between a good idea and a “God Idea”. Show up where you belong.

3. Hush-Up – Incline your ears to my saying. If you listen to God’s words, it becomes life and spirit

4. Speak-Up – Speak to the mountain of your life. It is time to change the way we say. Stop speaking death to your neighbours. Speak life and it brings it into discipline and submission to authority. Speak the Word of God. As you speak God’s Word, things will begin to change.

5. Cheer-Up – Our attitude determines our altitude. Some of the issues are financial and depression. Satan is using the situations to destroy, torment and torture God’s people. Begin to choose this day whom you will serve. Call upon Him to change the situations around.

6. Look-Up – look up to the hills where cometh your help. Sometimes you get too low. Be careful whom you are looking up too.

7. Hook-Up – Phil 4:13-19, Join partnership with God. Be careful whom you tie with – your body, mind and emotions. If you get hook-up with God, you are joint partakers with God. You have all rich things to enjoy.

Acts 1:8

Acts 1:8 - But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."

How to have the power in your life?

1. If you want power, you get to know the one who has the power. Do not leave the source of power. Get hook up to the power source and your life will be changed. Many times we go to the wrong place to get the power.

2. Get to know what He says and what He is saying. So that when Satan attacks you, you can raise up a standard based on His Word. You must have His words in the garden of your heart. Prayer and knowing His Word so that you can operate your life effectively. Do you ever face situations that you do not know what to do. Well seek God, read His Word and He will reveal to you what you should do.

3. Expects a new miracle everyday. Do not just expect miracles, but lets expect a new miracle everyday. Profess this and live in a constant state of expectancy. What is it that you believe in God for. It’s time to believe God. It’s time to stand up and proclaim that I am expecting a miracle everyday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. The scripture says that you have not because you ask not. The Lord says the earth is mine and the fullness thereof. No demon can stand in the power of God. Stand on the Word of God. It is time to stand up for something. It’s time to expect a miracle. We shall lay hands on the sick and they shall recover.

1 Fall And Many Lessons Learnt

On 9th Sep 2006 at 10.00 am, while cycling along Sembawang Drive, I hit the kerb and fell down from the bicycle. My left knee hit the concrete pavement and my head hit the grass patch. When my head hit the ground, I thought that was the end…..it would be serious. To my amazement, I felt a force holding my head and that the landing wasn’t that serious. I got abrasions on my face and head but unfortunately, the left knee was fractured and I could see the bone went in causing a depression.

My church friends who were behind me saw what happened and were shocked. Victor then called for an ambulance. I placed my hand on the injured knee and whispered a prayer to God. Next, I SMS my family members and colleague telling them of the accident and asking them not to worry.

The ambulance came shortly, and I was sent to the A&E department, Tan Tock Seng Hospital. Some waiting before the nurse enquired about my injury and wheeled me to the Observation Room. Subsequently an X-ray was done on me and confirmed that my left knee was fractured and that I needed an operation. I was admitted immediately and the operation was done on Tues, 12th Sep and I was discharged on Thurs, 14th Sep 2006 and given a month of hospitalization leave.

That was the first time I stayed in the Hospital and operation done on me. I have learnt many lessons during my stay:

1. I realized that life is a precious gift from God. One moment we are here and the next moment we may be gone. How close to death if my head hit the concrete pavement. I thank God for his mercy and grace in preserving my life. Although, I suffered pains from the wound and the numerous injections, I now realized and identified with those who are suffering from chronic diseases and those who are terminally ill. Each day must have been a struggle for them.

2. I learnt that operation could be a “scary thing”. Even as they wheeled you to the operation room and asked you several times about your name and NRIC No, it seemed that it might be your last call. I was unsure whether the operation was successful nor would I know for sure whether I could wake up. The moment before they knocked you out with “gas” was most frightening. I prayed to God to allow me to experience a “pleasant dream” during my operation. The next moment I woke up, I was on my way back to the ward. I had no dream whatsoever…..perhaps this was the “most pleasant” dream from God.

3. I learnt to appreciate the professionalism and sacrifices of the nurses and doctors. I thank them for their dedication and love for the patients. A profession that is often neglected and taken for granted.

4. I learnt that most patients would yearn for their friends and relatives to visit them. Ironically, they do not wish to “trouble anyone”, yet the visitations could mean a lot to the patients. The worst part that I experienced in the nights and wee hours of the morning….there was such a sense of loneliness…..as in not being with your loved ones.


5. I learnt that human being are inter-dependent. The care given from you loved ones, friends and colleagues are so crucial in moment like these. I was totally “immobile” and needed the nurses to serve me. I was helpless and dependent.

6. I learnt that the process of recovering required determination, discipline and will-power. I have to undergo a series of rehabilitation exercises and learn to walk again. That wasn’t easy as each exertion will cause pain.

7. I learnt that I have indirectly affected my colleagues and superiors as they would have to cover my duties on top of their own work. That’s really called for understanding and team work.

And the list could go on……..

Characteristics of A Servant Leader (Part 2)

4. Loyal

The next servant characteristic is loyal. Loyalty means that you have an undivided heart. Only the loyal servant is truly dependable. Loyalty is indispensable for a servant. Loyalty is exclusive. It says, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord (Josh 24:15). God demands loyalty. God is jealous for He is absolute. Lordship, by definition, cannot be partial.

Loyalty frees God to promote you within Kingdom work. In Genesis 37_41, Joseph was betrayed by his brothers, Potiphar’s wife and the cupbearer, yet he remained faithful to God. Because of his loyalty, God was free to promote Joseph. Joseph became the prime minister of Egypt.

Jesus was loyal. His loyalty to the Father is seen in the dedication of His life to the Father’s will Jesus was loyal to His disciples. In His great High Priestly prayer, Jesus said to the Father, “While I was with them in the world, I kept them in thy name (John 17:12). Jesus was loyal to death on the cross.

5. Faithful

The fifth servant characteristic is faithful (1 Cor 4:1-2). Through Moses, God commanded His people to be faithful: “Thou shall fear the Lord they God; him shall thou serve and to him shall thou cleave (Deut. 10:20). Faithfulness reflects the fidelity of a God who says, “I will never break my covenant with you” (Judg. 2:1). Faithfulness is reflected in statements like: “We must obey God rather than men”. Jesus praised the faithful servants in His parables.

Faithfulness frees God to expand your ministry. The five-talent man and the two-talent man were “faithful with a few things” and so the master put them “in charge of many things”. God rewards trustworthiness with greater trust.

Jesus was faithful. He was faithful to the Father, even to death. Jesus also was faithful to His disciples. “Having loved His own who were in the world. He loved them to the end” Jesus continues to be faithful as our High Priest. He is “with you always, even to the end of the age”

6. Watchful

The sixth servant characteristic is watchful. The emphasis is both on alertness and being prepared for the master’s return. Watchfulness indicates an attitude toward the master. Watchful means you want to know what God says or what He wants you to do. In Jesus’ parables, good servants spent much time waiting They were expected to be alert at all times. Such watchfulness was what made them good servants rather than wicked servants.

The quality of watchfulness proves whether you are God’s watchman. Paul wrote to the Thessalonians, “You are all sons of light and sons of day. We are neither of night nor of darkness; so then let us not sleep as others do, but let us be alert and sober.

Watchfulness frees the Lord to speak. Habakkuk demonstrated the watchman spirit. “I will stand on my guard post…..I will keep watch to see what He will speak to me”. God is not likely to speak to servants who are not watchful.

Jesus was watchful. His eve was always on the Father to know the Father’s direction. “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner. Christ always depended on direction from the Father. Jesus spent the night in prayer before He chose His disciples. A watchful servant remains alert to the Master.

Characteristics Of A Servant Leader

God’s first desire for your servant is your character. Jesus said,” The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his lord. It is enough for the disciple that he be as his master, and the servant as his lord”. (Matt 10:24-25) Your character is far more important than what you do.

1. Humble

The fundamental servant characteristic is humble (Act 20:19). The servant must be humble before God in order to obey God, and must be humble before others to fit in with his works of service. Humble persons do not seek recognition for their work. They would rather advance the Kingdom than look good to others and see their work as part of a bigger picture.

Humility frees God to manifest Himself. Jesus was humble. Jesus’ friends were lowly, common people. He did not normally cultivate close relationships with influential people, although Jesus did not turn them away.

2. Obedient

The second servant characteristic is obedient. Obedience is an attitude which draws no limits on what the Master can order. True obedience is instant, not delayed. At times we need to question the voices that seem to speak to us or to give us commands. Once God’s will is known, the obedient servant does not question. “ To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams” (! Sam 15:22).

Obedience frees God to act in mighty ways. Gideon obeyed promptly when God told him to reduce his army of 32,000 to 300 (Judg. 7:2-7). The defeat of the Midianites was a great victory. God may require strange things as He did of Joshua at the battle of Jericho. (Josh 6:1-20). God’s grand intentions can be realized only when we are obedient.

Jesus was obedient. Jesus’ obedience was manifest throughout His life.

3. Willing.

The third servant characteristic is willing. Our service must be whole-hearted. Our behavior often depends on our feelings rather than our will. Feelings often are confusing. Only the will can be single-minded. Only the will can override our feelings. Continuing obedience cannot be a result of feelings, but of the will. Even when feelings are out of control, you can give you will to God. You are to do the will of God with “singleness of your heart” (Eph 6:5)

The will can exist in one of the three ways: weak-willed, strong-willed (self-willed) or God-willed. To be God-willed , a person identifies his will with God’s. Weak-willed persons too easily submit the will to others. Strong-willed persons are independent of God.

Willingness frees God to reward divinely. You are to obey with all your heart; “knowing that from the Lord, you will receive the reward of the inheritance” (Col 3:24)

Jesus was willing. The Father’s will was Jesus’ will. In the greatest trial of His life, Jesus remained consistent in seeking the Father’s will. “Thy will be done” (Matt 26:42)

Servant Leadership

Jesus made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant (Phil 2:7)
“From everyone who has been given much shall much be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more (Luke 12:48)

At the center of the mind of Chirst is the servant mind. We have difficulty understanding the real meaning of servanthood. Many Christians are more concerned with the provision of privileges and personal rights than the joy of service.

Two Reasons for Servanthood

First, it is a command. Phil 2:7 tells us to think like Jesus, who “took upon him the form of a servant”. We are to think like a servant.

A second reason we should be a servant is because Jesus is our model. We become like Christ. Jesus washed the disciples’ feet before the Lord’ supper. Then He told them: “If I then the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you ought to wash one another’s feet. For I gave an example that you also should do as I did to you” (John 13:14-15). Jesus was not as interested in clean feet as He was in the disciples assuming servant roles.

God does not need our service. He does not need anything – our talent, our intelligence, our money, or our service.

“No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon (Luke 16:13)

Serving God and Others

Unlike the world’s system, in Christ’s kingdom servanthood is the key to greatness, not position or influence. Jesus explained Kingdom greatness:

Matt 20:25-28

You know that the rulers of the Gentiles Lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It is not so among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.

Greatness coming through lowly servanthood is beyond our comprehension. This part of Jesus’ teaching has not become a part of the attitude of most Christians. The last will be first, the least will be the greatest, and the servant will be highly regarded.

We serve God because He is supreme. He is the sovereign Ruler of the universe. We serve, not out of a selfish desire to become great, but because God loves us and commands us to love one another. Love serves others by meeting needs.

Struggling With Past Sins?

Are you struggling with some past sins. Many people do not have mastery over their past sins. Although they have sought forgiveness from God, they still feel emotional each time they remember it.

All of us have something in our past which we needed to repent. Some individuals could seemingly go through life without looking back, having repented of their sins. Others who have committed equally grave sins and experienced the same forgiveness find themselves unable to forget. Why is that so? Psychologists believed it has got to do with the sensitivity and the make-up of their personality. Perhaps the cause may be due to their low self-esteem or worth. The person often feels that he or she is too “evil” to be forgiven. Or could it be our “pride” or Satan’s tactics to cause the person to think that “How could it ever happen to me?”

All of us struggle in life. But if our past sins bring us misery, then I want you to know that God can help us to put our past in its right perspective. Even though we may not necessary forget the awful thing we did in the past, we will not be emotionally overwhelmed by it, because we have experienced the joy of “real forgiveness: from God. It is possible to remember a negative event without reliving it.

Despite our past, we must move forward as a forgiven man, knowing that God does not remember a sin that has been forgiven. If God is not holding it against us, then why should we?

Heb 10:7 “..Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more”
1 John 1:9 – “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins”.
Psalm 86:5 – “For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee.”
Psalm 103:3 -“Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases”

Live Life To Its Fullest

Do you desire to live and to live life to its fullest. This should be our desire and motivation.

Our relationship with our Lord should stir within us the desire to live fuller and better lives….the abundant life that He speaks of in John 10:10. It is not mere willpower, but a life that is mastered by the Holy Spirit.

What masters us? Is it fear and worry? Is it carnal desires? Is it self-pity, disappointment, bitterness or resentment? Take heart. God’s powers is more than a match for every situation if you yield your life to Him.

Fear and worry often master us. “Do not fret”, we are instructed in Psalm 37:8, “it leads only to evil”. Fretting or worrying is destructive. What begins a fret soon becomes a threat – a threat to your life as well as a threat to your spiritual poise. In God’s Name, they should be rooted out at all costs.

Memorize these verses, appropriate them and apply them in your life.

1. I Am More Than A Conqueror
Rom 8:37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us

2. At My Command, The Devil Flees
James 4:7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

3. Sin Shall Have No Dominion Over Me
Rom 6:14 For sin shall not have dominion over you: for you are not under the law, but under grace

4. The Greater One Is In Me
I Jn 4:4 You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

5. I Can Do Greater Works For the Greater One Is In Me
John 14:12 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father.

6. I Can Do All Things Required of Me
Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

7. I Have Total Success For The Total Being
3 Jn 2 Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.

Turning The Odds In Your Life

“Everything is permissible for me…but I will not be mastered by anything” (1 Cor 6:12)

What are the things that are mastering over us and putting us under the control. We need to pray to God and through His grace and power to gain mastery over them. In other words, we are going to turn the odds or the tables against us.

As we read 1 Cor 6:12-20, Paul tells us that he would not be mastered by anything. But rather he was mastered by none other than the Master Himself.

Could this be our life’s purpose? To have our life mastered by Jesus Christ? A life that is not mastered by the Master himself will be mastered by material things, disappointments, circumstances and the host of it.

Life often has its share of pain and disappointments, ups and down, with a set of circumstances. Although, life may not be rosy, but I believe that as you commit your life unto Him and acknowledge His Lordship and submit unto Him, He will surely grant you strength to master over them.

God can break every shackle, every bondage that binds us, whether is the pull of our carnal nature or that of the devil himself. It is not a change in our external circumstances that we need, but rather it is a change within ourselves. Self-mastery will not achieve this but divine mastery will. Make up your mind to submit to that divine mastery – beginning today.

Sembawang Hotspring

Sembawang hot spring is opened daily from 7 am to 7pm. It was previously known as Kampong Ayer Panas, which means ‘hot water’ village. It is located off Gambas Avenue. You could park your vehicle in the nearby housing estate and walk over. Alternatively, you could take public transport.

There are three water points for the public to use. Many believed that the sizzling hot water has healing properties which can rid people of aches and pains.

I visited the hotspring on 27 Jul 2006 at about 1 pm in the afternoon. There were only 3 men at that point of time. My wife and I enquired about the usefulness of soaking in the water. An elderly Chinese told us that he has been there everyday. He would pour the water into the bath tub (somebody must have left it there) and when it turned lukewarm, he would soak in it. He has found that his blood circulation has improved and he was able to sleep well in the night. Despite his age ( I guess around 65), he looked radiant and healthy.

There were many pails and chairs. We poured some water into the pails and soaked our feet for about half an hour. Nothing sensational or different. I supposed we have to do regularly over a period of time. One advice though is that you must visit during the day. There are lots of mosquitoes in the night.

For more photos, click here

FEARS & WEAKNESSES

God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of sound mind - (2 Tim 1:7)
My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me - (2 Cor 12:9)

Fears

Desire to protect myself
Money or the lack of it
Family
Job Security

The underlying problem revealed:

Lack of trust in God
Lack of faith

To have the mind of Christ is to trust in the Father's provision. Only He can protect us and our familie. Fears indicate a misunderstanding of God's purposes which are beyong our understanding. Jesus has allowed Lazarus to die from his sickness rather than heal him. But Jesus has a greater purpose in mind that would bring glory to God when He raised Lazarus from the dead (John 11:1-45).

Paul was ready for life and death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain - (Phil 1L21). Whatever God permitted was OK> Paul faced both life and death without fear because he has trust and confidence in God.

God's desire is to change you from being one who is self-protective to one who finds security in Christ.

Prepare a list of you fears. Evaluate your fears, ask God to reveal His ways, ask Him to begin moving you towards the security in Christ.

Weaknesses

We often excuse our weaknesses by saying we were born that way. Three times Paul asked the Lord to remove his "thorn in the flesh" or a weakness. Gor's response was that "My grace is sufficient for thee for my strength is made perfect in weakness.

God's desire is to move your weaknesses from being tools of Satan to being tools of God.

Prepare a list of your weaknesses. Ask God to help you identify the ones which are being used against you as tools of Satan. Write an S beside the ones and ask God to transform these weaknesses into tools that bring Him glory.

Bottle Tree Adventure

On most of the Wednesday & Sunday Nights, a group of cyclists from Sembawang Care group would gather opposite Sembawang MRT Station at about 9.15 pm to cycle to Bottle Tree. This has become a form of regular exercise for the group. If you are interested to join the group, do drop me an email at rejoice468@yahoo.com and I will be glad to provide you with the necessary details.

As to how to get there, the extract below from sp.pagenation.com will be of help:

Bottle Tree Village Food is located near Jalan Mempurong; near Simpang Kiri Park Connector; near Simpang Kiri Park Connector; near Sungei Simpang Kiri; 0.2 kilometre away from T3; Bottle Tree Village Food is geographically located at latitude (1.4589 degrees) 1° 27' 32" North of the Equator and longitude (103.8437 degrees) 103° 50' 37" East of the Prime Meridian on the Map of Singapore.

The locations related to Bottle Tree Village Food are represented by the nearest distances for a beam of light to travel and may not be nearest by road. For example, Bottle Tree Village Food is located 0.1 kilometre from Abandoned Boat Launch. Bottle Tree Village Food is located 0.1 kilometre from Sungei Simpang Fishing Spot. Bottle Tree Village Food is located 0.2 kilometre from Masjid Petempatan Melayu Sembawang. Bottle Tree Village Food is located 0.3 kilometre from Secluded Pinic Site. Bottle Tree Village Food is located 0.6 kilometre from Buckaroo.

Sembawang Mart Block 511 2.7km, Sembawang Shopping Centre 2.8km, Sun Plaza 3km, Northpoint 3.3km, 888 Plaza 5.9km, Vista Point 6.3km, Duty Free 6.7km, Causeway Point 6.9km, are places to shop (shopping mall, shop houses) located near Bottle Tree Village Food.
Yishun Dam 4.3km, Orchidville 6.6km, Singapore Zoological Gardens 8.4km, Night Safari 8.7km, Sungei Punggol 9.6km, Lido Beach 9.8km, Tajam, Pulau Ubin 10km, Kranji War Memorial 10.5km, are places of interest (attraction) located near Bottle Tree Village Food.
Buckaroo 0.6km, Yishun Industrial Park Food Centre 2.4km, Canberra Road Food Centre 2.7km, Woodlands Industrial Park Food Centre 5.4km, Prata Place 7.4km, Woodlands Food Centre 8.4km, Bamboo 9.1km, are eating places (food court, cafe, hawker food) located near Bottle Tree Village Food.
Chongfu Primary School 2.3km, Wellington Primary School 2.5km, Northland Secondary School 2.6km, ITE East Yishun 2.6km, Ahmad Ibrahim Secondary School 3km, Peixin Primary School 3km, Sembawang Primary School 3km, Yishun Town Secondary School 3km, are places of learning (school, college, university) located near Bottle Tree Village Food.

Secluded Pinic Site 0.3km, Sembawang Park 0.9km, Yishun Neighbourhood Park 2.5km, Megah Ria Park 3.7km, Yishun Park 3.8km, Lower Seletar Park 5.6km, Along Old Nee Soon Road 6.8km, Springleaf Avenue Playground 6.9km, are parks, playgrounds, open fields or commons located near Bottle Tree Village Food.

Laughter The Best Medicine

"Is laughter the best medicine?” Scientists have found that laughter is a form of internal jogging that exercises the body and stimulates the release of beneficial brain neurotransmitters and hormones. Positive outlook and laughter is actually good for our health! It may not seem to have much benefit, but to someone who has just gone through a tough day, a good laugh can do wonders. It does raise your spirits.

It was found that adults don’t laugh as often as children. While adults laugh approximately 15 times a day, children on the other hand laugh some 400 times. It seems as we grow up, we lost the sense of humor and few hundred laughs. We need to learn to be positive, to smile and laugh again and I think it will have tremendous impact and effect on our well-being.


Laughter is a form of good stress, or stress in reverse. Laughter is one of the body’s safety valves, a counter balance to tension. When we release that tension, the elevated levels of the body's stress hormones drop back to normal, thereby allowing our immune systems to work more effectively. Cells which produce anti-bodies increase in number, T-cells which combat viruses are activated and ready for battle. Our natural killer cells increase in number and activity. All this occurs as a direct result of laughter!

Being unhappy or very sad can seriously damage your health. So don't worry, be happy!

Humor therapy is the term given to a therapeutic process which claims beneficial effects from the use of positive emotions associated with laughter.

1. Research has shown that laughing can help in:
2. Lowering blood pressure
3. Reducing stress hormones
4. Increasing muscle flexion
5. Boosting immune function
6. Producing a general sense of well-being.


A Joke To Cheer You

When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple of days later, a drunkard walked through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried. Terrified, the drunkard ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, “Oh Yes, that’s Mozart’s Nine Symphony, being played backward”.

He listened a while longer and said, “There’s the Eight Symphony, and it’s backwards too. Most puzzling.” So the magistrate kept listening; “There’s the Seventh, the Sixth…the Fifth..” Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate, he stood up and announced to the crow that had gathered in the cemetery, “My fellow citizens, there’s nothing to worry about. Its just Mozart decomposing”

Are You Lonely?

We feel lonely from time to time, even particularly lonely - in a crowd. This is made worse by the sight of others who seem perfectly at ease, are rapidly making friends and are becoming embedded in groups from which you feel excluded..

You can feel lonely in the following situations:

when someone close to you leaves you
when you are not included in a group
when there is no one with whom you can confide your feelings
when you feel that there is no one you can turn to
when you feel withdrawn

Loneliness can make you feel:

unloved and unwanted
socially inadequate
convinced that there is something wrong with you
self-conscious and feeling inferior

What you can do about loneliness?

Remember that loneliness is very common. Almost everyone will feel it at some point in life. It is not abnormal. It is that your expectation of some needs are not being met. Changing the situation may involve finding and developing a circle of friends. It may also mean a change in activities or pursuits.

Choose activities that you are genuinely interested in and enjoy - societies or sports or voluntary work. Do not, however, over-extend yourself, filling your time with too many things just to avoid being alone.

Remind yourself that friendships require time to develop. Build relationships by being a good friend to others.

Respond to others and their interests. Some people are more at ease in groups and others in 'one to one' situations. Consider your own preferences and 'style'. Find others with similar outlooks and interests. Remember that, despite appearances, not everyone is interested in bars or sports.
When should I seek professional help?

You may wish to seek professional help if despite the above suggestions, you still experience the following emotions:

Confused, not knowing what to do
Withdrawn, not willing to open up
A sense of emptiness in life
Angry and critical, both on people and situations
Nervous

Do drop me an email if you need help at rejoice468@yahoo.com

Anxious Minds

What does the word "worry" mean? Interestingly, the word in ancient English means "to choke or to strangle." So when you worry, the meaning of the English word is that somebody has you by your spiritual throat and is choking the life out of you. I think that is about it, isn’t it? When ever you worry you feel a sense of helplessness. It is when my mind is paralyzed and I become incapable of rational thought. It goes around and around and around. Like the merry-go-round. It keeps going, but it doesn’t go anywhere. Another definition that Joyce Meyer mentioned in her book, “Battlefield of the Mind” is “to torment oneself”.

It seems that too many people have become addicted to worrying. In almost every function of their lives, something as simple as fretting over getting to a meeting on time. For others, it can mean being nervous about meeting someone for the first time. And the list goes on:

Ø Finance
Ø Health
Ø Family
Ø Relationship
Ø Community
Ø Work/Study

People with excessive worry often find that they feel uncomfortable with new situations or with situations they can't completely control. Over time chronic worriers can develop a restricted and unfulfilling lifestyle, and worry can begin to affect relationships, work and enjoyment of leisure activities. As a result, individuals with excessive worry often suffer from low self-esteem.

The types of common anxiety symptoms associated with worry that people might experience include:

Feelings of restlessness
Feelings of fatigue
Concentration difficulties
Irritability
Muscle tension
Sleep problems

"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? "And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? "And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. "But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! "Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?'" "For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
(Matthew 6:25-34)

What Fear Can Do To You

Have you experienced chest pains, heart palpitations, increased heart rate, dizziness, nausea, sweating, shortness of breath, sweating. Do you always have the feeling of losing control?

Can you relate to the above symptoms. If so, you are not alone. You may be suffering from anxiety or panic attacks. More than 26 million people have had at least one panic attack, and up to 14 million have been diagnosed with panic disorder. But we’re here to encourage you and boldly say that you can overcome and get your life back!

Fear is the master spirit at the root of all anxiety and panic…and it must be confronted to be overcome and that’s what we’re all about! Through your pain comes your purpose and we believe that when you come out on the other side of panic, you will have learned so much about yourself and about the importance of renewing your mind with the Word that you will be able to reach down and pull others up as well.

Fear can be overcome and must be overcome. God has intended for us to have peace and not fear. The following are what fears can do to us:

Fear causes us to worry instead of trusting God.
Fear destroys our Faith in God
Fear cuts us off from tapping on God’s resources. Fear brings disease and illness.
Fear blocks us from listening to God.
Fears keep us trying to hide, cover up and pretend.

Purpose in Life

Life may be pretty straightforward for some of us. We are comfortable with what we are doing. We go through periods of “up” and “down”, and we acknowledge that this is part of our life pattern.

For others, life seems too complex. The fast pace and complexity of life demands and pressures are straining and draining us. Illness or family problems may cause additional stress. We may feel a creeping sense of weariness with life, a sense that life is just too hard and not much fun. Even though we desire it, we're not sure our lives fit into a meaningful pattern.
Do you then find the meaning or purpose in life? How best could you fit in the universe and what should be done with your life? Is there such thing as destiny?

Bob Butford the author of the book “Halftime” believes that the second half of your life can be better than the first. Much Better. But first, you need time to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life. So he recommends that a reader call “halftime” to reflect not only on where he’s going, but why.
In Halftime, Buford focuses on this important time of transition – the time when, as he says, a person moves beyond the first half of the game of life. It’s halftime, a time of revitalization and for catching new vision for living the second, most rewarding half of life.

As Buford explains, “My passion is to multiply all that God has given me, and in the process, give it back. That requires asking important questions:

What am I really good at?
What do I want to do?
What is most important to me?
What do I want to be remembered for?
If my life were absolutely perfect, what would it look like?

Mr Ang Thiam Hong, a pschotherapist & Career Coach talked recently in radion 938 live about finding purpose in your work. In his web site, he talked about the quality of our lives, where we live, who we become friends with, and what opportunities come our way. When the work we do is a mismatch with what we need and enjoy in basic ways, we tend to become frustrated and unhappy. He mentioned about the checklist to establish whether your work is in line with your purpose in life:


Do I wake up most Mondays feeling energised to go to work?
Do I have a deep energy or feel a personal calling for my work?

Am I clear about how I measure my success as a person?
Do I use my gifts to add real value to people's lives?

Do I work with people who honour the values I honour?
Am I expecting true joy in my work?

Do I go to sleep most nights saying "this was a well lived day"?
Am I making a living doing what I love to do?

Do I use my gifts to add real value to people's lives?
Can I speak my purpose in a statement?

Rick Warren, author of the best-selling book, The Purpose-Driven Life talks about the five purposes in a Christian life:

Worship
Discipleship
Fellowship
Ministry
Evangelism

A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree. Proverbs 11:28 (Msg)
Blessed are those who trust in the Lord. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they go right on producing delicious fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NLT)"

So, is your life meaningful, or are you in your second half? Are you still struggling to find the purpose of your life?

No Arms, No Legs, No Worries

An amazing story of faith in adversity. If Nick's story doesn't convince us about God's love & His power & what faith can do, then nothing else will.

My name is Nick Vujicic and I give God the Glory for how He has used my testimony to touch thousands of hearts around the world! I was born without limbs and doctors have no medical explanation for this birth "defect". As you can imagine, I was faced with many challenges and obstacles.

" Consider it pure joy, my Brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds."

....To count our hurt, pain and struggle as nothing but pure joy? As my parents were Christians, and my Dad even a Pastor of our church, they knew that verse very well. However, on the morning of the 4th of December 1982 in Melbourne (Australia), the last two words on the minds of my parents was "Praise God!". Their firstborn son had been born without limbs! There were no warnings or time to prepare themselves for it. The doctors were shocked and had no answers at all! There is still no medical reason why this had happened and Nick now has a Brother and Sister who were born just like any other baby. The whole church mourned over my birth and my parents were absolutely devastated. Everyone asked, "if God is a God of Love, then why would God let something this bad happen to not just anyone, but dedicated Christians?" My Dad thought I wouldn't survive for very long, but tests proved that I was a healthy baby boy just with a few limbs missing.

Understandably, my parents had strong concern and evident fears of what kind of life I'd be able to lead. God provided them strength, wisdom and courage through those early years and soon after that I was old enough to go to school.

The law in Australia didn't allow me to be integrated into a main-stream school because of my physical disability. God did miracles and gave my Mom the strength to fight for the law to be changed. I was one of the first disabled students to be integrated into a main-stream school.

I liked going to school, and just try to live life like everyone else, but it was in my early years of school where I encountered uncomfortable times of feeling rejected, weird and bullied because of my physical difference. It was very hard for me to get used to, but with the support of my parents, I started to develop attitudes and values which helped me overcome these challenging times. I knew that I was different but on the inside I was just like everyone else. There were many times when I felt so low that I wouldn't go to school just so I didn't have to face all the negative attention. I was encouraged by my parents to ignore them and to try start making friends by just talking with some kids. Soon the students realized that I was just like them, and God kept on blessing me with new friends.

There were times when I felt depressed and angry because I couldn't change the way I was, or blame anyone for that matter. I went to Sunday School and learnt that God loves us all and that He cares for you. I understood that love to a point as a child, but I didn't understand that if God loved me why did He make me like this? Is it because I did something wrong? I thought I must have because out of all the kids at school, I'm the only weird one. I felt like I was a burden to those around me and the sooner I go, the better it'd be for everyone. I wanted to end my pain and end my life at a young age, but I am thankful once again, for my parents and family who were always there to comfort me and give me strength.

Due to my emotional struggles I had experienced with bullying, self esteem and loneliness, God has implanted a passion of sharing my story and experiences to help others cope with whatever challenge they have in their life and let God turn it into a blessing. To encourage and inspire others to live to their fullest potential and not let anything get in the way of accomplishing their hopes and dreams.

One of the first lessons that I have learnt was not to take things for granted. "And we know that in all things God works for the best for those who love Him." That verse spoke to my heart and convicted me to the point where that I know that there is no such thing as luck, chance or coincidence that these "bad" things happen in our life.

I had complete peace knowing that God won't let anything happen to us in our life unless He has a good purpose for it all. I completely gave my life to Christ at the age of fifteen after reading John 9. Jesus said that the reason the man was born blind was "so that the works of God may be revealed through Him." I truly believed that God would heal me so I could be a great testimony of His Awesome Power. Later on I was given the wisdom to understand that if we pray for something, if it's God's will, it'll happen in His time. If it's not God's will for it to happen, then I know that He has something better.

I now see that Glory revealed as He is using me just the way I am and in ways others can't be used.

I am now twenty- three years old and have completed a Bachelor of Commerce majoring in Financial Planning and Accounting. I am also a motivational speaker and love to go out and share my story and testimony wherever opportunities become available. I have developed talks to relate to and encourage students through topics that challenge today's teenagers. I am also a speaker in the corporate sector.

I have a passion for reaching out to youth and keep myself available for whatever God wants me to do, and wherever He leads, I follow I have many dreams and goals that I have set to achieve in my life. I want to become the best witness I can be of God's Love and Hope, to become an international inspirational speaker and be used as a vessel in both Christian and non-Christian venues. I want to become financially independent by the age of 25, through real estate investments, to modify a car for me to drive and to be interviewed and share my story on the "Oprah Winfrey Show"!

Writing several best-selling books has been one of my dreams and I hope to finish writing my first by the end of the year. It will be called "No Arms, No Legs, No Worries!"

I believe that if you have the desire and passion to do something, and if it's God's will, you will achieve it in good time. As humans, we continually put limits on ourselves for no reason at all! What's worse is putting limits on God who can do all things. We put God in a "box". The awesome thing about the Power of God, is that if we want to do something for God, instead of focusing on our capability, concentrate on our availability for we know that it is God through us and we can't do anything without Him. Once we make ourselves available for God's work, guess whose capabilities we rely on? God's!

May the Lord Bless you
In Christ,
Nick Vujicic

The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is never easy. It is really the struggle of the heart. Even more difficult is to initiatiate, either to ask for forgiveness or to tell someone that you have forgiven him/her for the wrong done to you.

How could we forgive someone who has abused us, a spouse who has cheated, and the boss who humiliated us. How could we come to terms with the sufferings and humiliation?

So what exactly is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is admitting that I am human

Phillip Yancey wrote: "Forgiveness is another way of admitting, 'I'm human, I make mistakes, I want to be granted that privilege and so I grant you that privilege.' "

Forgiveness cancels a debt someone owes us and restores relationship. It is the only solution in a world ridden with sin and evil to help us start over with people and with God.

Forgiveness is not forgetting.

We have often heard of the phrase “forgive and forget”. I must say that to forgive is difficult and to forget is even more difficult. Once we have experienced the healing power of forgiveness, we will never forget the release we feel in our souls. Through forgiving, we’re able to forget “what lies behind” and reach forward to “what lies ahead” (Philippians 3:13), which involves letting go of the pain and being freed from hatred, fear and bitterness. We remember those painful circumstances in a way that gives us hope for the future. True forgiveness gives us back our lives

Forgiveness is a choice

We can make the choice to forgive. Unless and until we forgive, we will be trapped in our thoughts. We be locked up in our cage. The endless rage, resentment, guilt and anger will drain the life out of you. When Corrie Ten Boom extended her hand to the former Nazi officer who abused her and her sister during their imprisonment, she did it choosing to follow Christ versus her feelings. Paul writes in Eph 4:31-32 "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."NIV

Forgiveness brings about healing

Forgiveness is an act of mercy which brings about healing to our inner being. The moment we let go, our hatred, anger and resentment will be gone. There is a special connection between forgiveness and freedom. It brings about such release as majestic as setting the captives free or delivering from the evil spirits.

Forgiveness is not an emotion

Forgiveness is not an action we take without agony of the soul. It is never easy to forgive. Forgiveness begins as a decision to trust God, rather than a desire or feeling of wanting to be close to the person who has offended me. My emotions toward the person may be completely antagonistic, but that doesn’t affect my decision about forgiving that person.

Forgiveness is a process

Forgiveness is a process. The moment you forgive, the process begins but that does not mean that you will instantly feel the freedom of complete forgiveness. It may take years to experience the full freedom of forgiveness. I compare forgiveness to peeling layers off an onion. You can dig deeply and take off many layers at once, but there are lots of thin layers as well, which makes forgiveness a process of patiently addressing the issues that come up.

Committing to the process means admitting that we are powerless to forgive on your own, but we are willing to begin, knowing it may take years before we can feel the complete release of God’s work of forgiveness in our heart.

Forgiveness is a decision

No one can force us to forgive, and no one can keep us from forgiving. Forgiveness is a decision to trust not our own instincts but the voice of God. When I’ve decided to forgive, it wasn’t because the offender asked me to do so or even acted in a way that created a desire in me to forgive. I forgave because I trusted that God loves me and that He would never tell me to do something that wasn’t good for me.

Forgiveness is desiring reconciliation

As forgiveness does its work, you move from being an obsessed, embittered person to a willing agent of God’s love. The reconciliation that you desire is evidence of the changes going on in your heart through forgiveness. Perhaps the person we’re forgiving and seeking reconciliation with doesn’t see things the same way we do. But for reconciliation to take place, there must be openness in the hearts of both parties to admit wrong and come to a mutual understanding