We feel lonely from time to time, even particularly lonely - in a crowd. This is made worse by the sight of others who seem perfectly at ease, are rapidly making friends and are becoming embedded in groups from which you feel excluded.. You can feel lonely in the following situations:
when you are not included in a group
when there is no one with whom you can confide your feelings
when you feel that there is no one you can turn to
when you feel withdrawn
Loneliness can make you feel:
unloved and unwanted
socially inadequate
convinced that there is something wrong with you
self-conscious and feeling inferior
What you can do about loneliness?
Remember that loneliness is very common. Almost everyone will feel it at some point in life. It is not abnormal. It is that your expectation of some needs are not being met. Changing the situation may involve finding and developing a circle of friends. It may also mean a change in activities or pursuits.
Choose activities that you are genuinely interested in and enjoy - societies or sports or voluntary work. Do not, however, over-extend yourself, filling your time with too many things just to avoid being alone.
Remind yourself that friendships require time to develop. Build relationships by being a good friend to others.
Respond to others and their interests. Some people are more at ease in groups and others in 'one to one' situations. Consider your own preferences and 'style'. Find others with similar outlooks and interests. Remember that, despite appearances, not everyone is interested in bars or sports.
When should I seek professional help?
You may wish to seek professional help if despite the above suggestions, you still experience the following emotions:
Confused, not knowing what to do
Withdrawn, not willing to open up
A sense of emptiness in life
Angry and critical, both on people and situations
Nervous
Do drop me an email if you need help at rejoice468@yahoo.com
