Why do we get angry at the person we love the most? Why do we allow ourselves to go angry knowing in advance that we will need to apologise? Why do we raise our voices when it does us no good.
Different people use different means of dealing with anger. Some try to deny it by calling it something else. Others confuse anger with fatigues, nervousness or being uptight. Some may even try to suppress it. Still others try to spiritualize their anger calling it "righteous anger". Unkind words like, "this is the way God made me, you know what I am like so you might as well get used to it, it is all in my genes"
Well, anger is not inherited. How we express it is learned and can be unlearned. Anger begins as a physiological response to a real or imagined threat. The involuntary nervouse goes to work whenever the brain signals that injury is a possibility. Frist, sweat breaks out in the palms of our hands. Then the heart begins to pound twice as hard. The throat gets dry. The pittuitary gland pours adrenaline into the bloodstream, and suddenly the body is ready for battle.
Out of this response can come terrible hehaviour. "In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry".
What is the difference between feeling angry and committing a sin?
What can you do to resolve anger?
How can you and your partner work together to anticipate and deal with it constructively?
An advice for couples is that nothing replaces open communication. Sometimes this hurt, but it is always necessary...these are the key elements in a continual cultivation of intimacy.
My name is Ronnie Ng. I am currently writing a book on cultivating intimacy in marriage, so I started researching in this subject. If you have a problem, concern or something to share with me, please email me at rejoice468@yahoo.com.
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