“I want by understanding myself, to understand others: I want to be all that I am capable of becoming” (Katherine Mansfield) 
To become more effective in life, we need to constantly strive to increase our self-awareness – to discover what make us tick – to monitor what goes on inside our head: our thoughts, feelings, sensing, intuition, attitudes, beliefs and how these manifest themselves in our behavior. In other words, we live to learn to ‘read ourselves like a book’ – the cover and the contents. The continuous and evolving process of getting to know who ‘we are’ defines self-awareness. A lack of self-knowledge means there are areas in our lives that we are unknown or invisible to us. By increasing our understanding, we enhance our ability to be more understanding and empathic on others.
The Johari Window (see below) helps us to understand ourselves. It is derived from the work of Jo Luft and Harry Ingram (1955). The Johari Window: A Graphic Model for Interpersonal Relations, University of California.
To become more effective in life, we need to constantly strive to increase our self-awareness – to discover what make us tick – to monitor what goes on inside our head: our thoughts, feelings, sensing, intuition, attitudes, beliefs and how these manifest themselves in our behavior. In other words, we live to learn to ‘read ourselves like a book’ – the cover and the contents. The continuous and evolving process of getting to know who ‘we are’ defines self-awareness. A lack of self-knowledge means there are areas in our lives that we are unknown or invisible to us. By increasing our understanding, we enhance our ability to be more understanding and empathic on others.
The Johari Window (see below) helps us to understand ourselves. It is derived from the work of Jo Luft and Harry Ingram (1955). The Johari Window: A Graphic Model for Interpersonal Relations, University of California.
Window 1 – Known to all
This part can be viewed as our open window. It is the parts of us that we freely display and other people can see, for example our attitudes and behavior. This open area of our window can be enlarged or extended through self-disclosure.
Window 2 – Blind
This is often refers to as the “blind spots” of our window. It is the parts of us that we cannot see but others can: for example our body language and other aspects of our behavior that we are unaware of. The “blind spots” of our window similarly can be enlarged by asking for feedback.
Window 3 – Hidden
This part can be viewed as the private part of our window. It is the parts of us that we know but choose not to share with others, for example our secrets or things that we feel ashamed about. This hidden area of our window can be enlarged by disclosing our secrets. This may involve a certain amount of risks.
Window 4 – Unknown to all
This part can be viewed as our closed window. It is the parts of us which we and others are unaware of. This part may include our motivations, unconscious needs, anxieties or undiscovered potential. The unknown part of our window can be enlarged through the counseling process by gradually opening up memories and the gaining of insight.
The exercise below – Expanding self-awareness (from your internal frame of reference) is taken from “Leaning to counsel” by Jan Sutton & William Stewart.
You are advised not to rush through this exercise, for a greater understanding of your own frame of reference….As this exercise is very individual, no answers will be provided.
Name - How important is it to you?
Gender - Are you satisfied with being who you are?
Body - Are you satisfied with your physical appearance?
Abilities -What are you particularly good at?
Mind - Do you feel OK about your intellectual ability?
Age - Are you comfortable with the age you are now?
Birth - How you feel about where you were born?
Culture(s) - Where were you brought up? If you have moved between different cultures, what influences have you experienced?
People - Who influenced you most when growing up?
Mother - What is your opinion of your mother?
Father -What is your opinion of your father? If you have no parents, how has that influenced you?
Siblings - What is your opinion of your brothers/sisters? If you have no brothers or sisters, what influence has that on you?
Education - What influence did your education have? What would you like to have achieved but did not?
Employment - List the various jobs you have had, the people you remember associated with those jobs.
Spouse - If you are married, how has your spouse influenced you?
Children - How have your children influenced you? If you wanted children and were unable to have them, how has that influenced you?
Unmarried - If you are unmarried or have no partner what influence does that have on you?
Preferences - How do your sexual preferences influence you?
Values - What values do you have, and what influence do they exert? Have you taken them over from other people without thinking about them?
Beliefs - What are your fundamental beliefs? How did you acquire them?
Religion - If you are religious, what influence does that exert? If you have no religion, what influence does that exert?
Experiences - What life experiences are significant for you and why?
Health - How have any illnesses or accidents influence you and why?
Memories - What memories do you treasure, and what memories do you try to forget?
Relationships - What relationship in the past are you glad you had? And what relationship do you wish you had never had?
Circumstances - What life circumstances, past or present, do you welcome and which do you regret?
Authority - Who represents authority for you, in the past and now? What influence do these authority figures exert on you?
Strengths - What are your major strengths?
Weaknesses - What are your major weaknesses?
Virtues - What do you consider to be virtues? How do they influence your behavior
Vices - Do you have any vices, and how do they influence your relationship?
