In Honour Preferring One Another

"[Be] kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another." (Romans 12:10)

There is much confusion on the subject of love today because we have only one English word ("love") to describe a broad range of meanings. For example, if I said, "I love my wife, I love apple pie, and I love my dog," obviously I am not talking about love in the same degree or definition.

In the New Testament, three major Greek words described the various kinds of love. One of these words, "EROS," was not actually used in the New Testament, but it was alluded to. The following is a brief definition of these three major words.

EROS - sexual passion; arousal, its gratification and fulfillment. This Greek word is not used in the New Testament, probably because its origin came from the mythical god Eros, the god of love. It is inferred in many scriptures and is the only kind of love that God restricts to a one-man, one-woman relationship within the bounds of marriage (Song 1:13, 4:5-6, 7:7-9, 8:10; 1Co 7:25; Eph 5:31; and Heb 13:4).

PHILEO - friendly love based on feelings or emotions. We could describe "PHILEO" love as tender affection, delighting to be in the presence of someone, or a warm or good feeling toward someone that may come and go with intensity.

This verb and its other related Greek words are found over seventy times in the New Testament. Although PHILEO-love is encouraged in Scripture, it is never a direct command. God never commands us to PHILEO (love) anyone, since this type of love is based on feelings. Even God did not PHILEO the world. He operated in "AGAPE" love toward us.

The following are some scriptures in which PHILEO or a form of it is used: Joh 5:20, 11:3, 36, 12:25, 16:27, 20:2; Ac 28:2; Ro 12:10; 1Ti 6:10; 2Ti 3:4; Tit 2:4, 3:4; Heb 13:1; 3Jo 9; and Re 3:19.

AGAPE - God's type of love; the highest kind of love. AGAPE is seeking the welfare or betterment of others even if there is not affection felt (paraphrase based on "Happiness Explained" by Bob Rigdon). AGAPE does not have the primary meaning of affection nor of coming from one's feelings.

Jesus displayed this AGAPE kind of love by going to the cross and dying even though He didn't feel like dying. He prayed, "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt" (Mt 26:39, Mr 14:36, Lu 22:41-42, and Joh 18:11). Jesus sought the betterment of mankind, regardless of His feelings.

We, too, can AGAPE (love) our enemies, even though we don't have any warm feelings of affection for them (Lu 6:35). If they are hungry, we can feed them; if they thirst, we can give them a drink (Ro 12:20-21). We can choose to seek the betterment and welfare of others regardless of how we feel.

The Apostle John said, "Let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth" (1Jo 3:18). Jesus referred to His love for others (Joh 13:34; 15:9, and 12), but He never directly told anyone, "I love you."

"People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges." (Joseph Fort Newton)