Better Parenting Tips

We have a choice: Either we teach our children good values or we abandon their future to chance. If we don’t teach our children, somebody else will.

Consider the influences on our children, television programmes, movies, questionable music, neighbourhood kids, internet, printed materials and the media. How about the peer pressures from classmates? Who’s really teaching them?

For most parents, the honest answer is that others have far more influence on their children than they do.

How can we gain and maintain proper influence over what our children learn? How can we help them learn proper values and standards? If not, how can we become the primary influence?

Are we the guiding force in shaping our children’ thoughts and moral standards? The pressures can be staggering. It’s no wonder so many parents feel overwhelmed when they consider their child-rearing responsibilities.

These may be some practical keys to bringing up successful children:

The Key of education.

The pattern of a child’s life is often established by age 3. After this age basic patterns of behaviour change only with considerable difficulty; the child’s personality is largely set.

At age 3, a child will learn a great deal through formal education. Reading to your children will broaden their world and sets the stage for them to satisfy their intellectual curiosity. You can help your children learn to love books.

Encourage them to read books that match their interest. Make time to take them to the library to browse among the books of their choice.

The Key of Personal Involvement

Being a parent is a complex responsibility. Many parents, busy with their jobs, careers and other work pressures, are quick to give money and other material things to their children. It’s too easy to overlook the fact that their children are craving for time to be with their children.

Children simply need their parents. They really want their parental involvement, beside love, attention, support and encouragement. Get involved with your children. You will reap rich dividends for yourself and them.

The Key of discipling in love

Parents should be sensitive in guiding their families. They should set sensible rules for their children according to their ages. Peace requires order and order requires certain rules. Parents must take time to explain why such rules exist.

Of course, parents must follow the same rules. They should be the role models for their children.

The Key of hugging, holding and reassuring

A parent should never feel embarrassed to show affection through hugging and holding his children. All children need affection and reassurance to know that their parents really love them. When they succeed at just about anything, encourage them, letting them know you are pleased about their success.

Parents, love your children and teach them while you can. Take advantage of the time you have as parents.

Managing Change

Managing change and dealing with its implications will differ from person to person. There are broadly three types of reaction to change:

Resistant

Why resistance? The reasons being most people refuse to accept new ideas and approaches. They are also reluctant to undergo re-training or unlearn what they have been so accustomed. For this group of people, change means much re-working and adjustment and they are unsure whether they could cope.

Indifferent

Change is viewed as something going on around them. The view of the indifferent person might be one of avoidance until some form of acceptance becomes absolutely necessary. The indifferent person often believes that his or her world will remain unchanged and that someone else will be affected or will do what is necessary. Apathy often accompanies this attitude to change with an "I can cope with it" mentality.

Receptive and open

These people are receptive to new ideas and prepared to embrace the reality of a situation recognising what needs to be improved or done differently. It is not necessarily about the wanton desire for change for its own sake. Change will happen so there is a lot to be said for being a part of the process at an organisational level and accepting this reality at a personal level.

Why do so many people respond so negatively to change?

Positive elements of change can include the creation of a better set of circumstances, the fun of being involved in something different, the opportunities presented from a new venture or means of employment. However in the short term change can also mean loss, discontinuity, and the destruction of a familiar and "safe" way of life.... "the good old days". Consequently feelings of insecurity, a lack of trust in the hierarchy and feelings of being sold down the river can lead people to savagely protect the status quo. A lack of understanding, a lack of trust and fear of the outcome are perhaps some of the key reasons that lead people to reject change.

Question: Consider the following elements of your own life

Work environment
Work relationships
Circle of friends
Personal relationships
Family
Where you live
The job you do
Your financial status
Your health

How many of the above elements have changed for you during the past five years? It is highly likely that many if not all of these major life elements will have changed to some degree. How many of these changes, good or bad, simply happened and how many of them did you actually influence and affect

An extract on Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in a person's mood, energy, and ability to function. Different from the normal ups and downs that everyone goes through, the symptoms of bipolar disorder are severe. They can result in damaged relationships, poor job or school performance, and even suicide. But there is good news: bipolar disorder can be treated, and people with this illness can lead full and productive lives.
Bipolar disorder causes dramatic mood swings—from overly "high" and/or irritable to sad and hopeless, and then back again, often with periods of normal mood in between. Severe changes in energy and behavior go along with these changes in mood. The periods of highs and lows are called episodes of mania and depression.
Signs and symptoms of mania (or a manic episode) include:
· Increased energy, activity, and restlessness
· Excessively "high," overly good, euphoric mood
· Extreme irritability
· Racing thoughts and talking very fast, jumping from one idea to another
· Distractibility, can't concentrate well
· Little sleep needed
· Unrealistic beliefs in one's abilities and powers
· Poor judgment
· Spending sprees
· A lasting period of behavior that is different from usual
· Increased sexual drive
· Abuse of drugs, particularly cocaine, alcohol, and sleeping medications
· Provocative, intrusive, or aggressive behavior
· Denial that anything is wrong

A manic episode is diagnosed if elevated mood occurs with three or more of the other symptoms most of the day, nearly every day, for 1 week or longer. If the mood is irritable, four additional symptoms must be present.
Signs and symptoms of depression (or a depressive episode) include:
· Lasting sad, anxious, or empty mood
· Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
· Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
· Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed, including sex
· Decreased energy, a feeling of fatigue or of being "slowed down"
· Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
· Restlessness or irritability
· Sleeping too much, or can't sleep
· Change in appetite and/or unintended weight loss or gain
· Chronic pain or other persistent bodily symptoms that are not caused by physical illness or injury
· Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
A depressive episode is diagnosed if five or more of these symptoms last most of the day, nearly every day, for a period of 2 weeks or longer.
A mild to moderate level of mania is called hypomania. Hypomania may feel good to the person who experiences it and may even be associated with good functioning and enhanced productivity. Thus even when family and friends learn to recognize the mood swings as possible bipolar disorder, the person may deny that anything is wrong. Without proper treatment, however, hypomania can become severe mania in some people or can switch into depression.
Sometimes, severe episodes of mania or depression include symptoms of psychosis (or psychotic symptoms). Common psychotic symptoms are hallucinations (hearing, seeing, or otherwise sensing the presence of things not actually there) and delusions (false, strongly held beliefs not influenced by logical reasoning or explained by a person's usual cultural concepts). Psychotic symptoms in bipolar disorder tend to reflect the extreme mood state at the time. For example, delusions of grandiosity, such as believing one is the President or has special powers or wealth, may occur during mania; delusions of guilt or worthlessness, such as believing that one is ruined and penniless or has committed some terrible crime, may appear during depression. People with bipolar disorder who have these symptoms are sometimes incorrectly diagnosed as having schizophrenia, another severe mental illness.
It may be helpful to think of the various mood states in bipolar disorder as a spectrum or continuous range. At one end is severe depression, above which is moderate depression and then mild low mood, which many people call "the blues" when it is short-lived but is termed "dysthymia" when it is chronic. Then there is normal or balanced mood, above which comes hypomania (mild to moderate mania), and then severe mania.
In some people, however, symptoms of mania and depression may occur together in what is called a mixed bipolar state. Symptoms of a mixed state often include agitation, trouble sleeping, significant change in appetite, psychosis, and suicidal thinking. A person may have a very sad, hopeless mood while at the same time feeling extremely energized.
Bipolar disorder may appear to be a problem other than mental illness—for instance, alcohol or drug abuse, poor school or work performance, or strained interpersonal relationships. Such problems in fact may be signs of an underlying mood disorder.
Diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder
Like other mental illnesses, bipolar disorder cannot yet be identified physiologically—for example, through a blood test or a brain scan. Therefore, a diagnosis of bipolar disorder is made on the basis of symptoms, course of illness, and, when available, family history.
Descriptions offered by people with bipolar disorder give valuable insights into the various mood states associated with the illness:
Depression: I doubt completely my ability to do anything well. It seems as though my mind has slowed down and burned out to the point of being virtually useless…. [I am] haunt[ed]… with the total, the desperate hopelessness of it all…. Others say, "It's only temporary, it will pass, you will get over it," but of course they haven't any idea of how I feel, although they are certain they do. If I can't feel, move, think or care, then what on earth is the point?
Hypomania: At first when I'm high, it's tremendous… ideas are fast… like shooting stars you follow until brighter ones appear…. All shyness disappears, the right words and gestures are suddenly there… uninteresting people, things become intensely interesting. Sensuality is pervasive, the desire to seduce and be seduced is irresistible. Your marrow is infused with unbelievable feelings of ease, power, well-being, omnipotence, euphoria… you can do anything… but, somewhere this changes.
Mania: The fast ideas become too fast and there are far too many… overwhelming confusion replaces clarity… you stop keeping up with it—memory goes. Infectious humor ceases to amuse. Your friends become frightened…. everything is now against the grain… you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and trapped.
Suicide
Some people with bipolar disorder become suicidal. Anyone who is thinking about committing suicide needs immediate attention, preferably from a mental health professional or a physician. Anyone who talks about suicide should be taken seriously. Risk for suicide appears to be higher earlier in the course of the illness. Therefore, recognizing bipolar disorder early and learning how best to manage it may decrease the risk of death by suicide.
Signs and symptoms that may accompany suicidal feelings include:
· talking about feeling suicidal or wanting to die
· feeling hopeless, that nothing will ever change or get better
· feeling helpless, that nothing one does makes any difference
· feeling like a burden to family and friends
· abusing alcohol or drugs
· putting affairs in order (e.g., organizing finances or giving away possessions to prepare for one's death)
· writing a suicide note
· putting oneself in harm's way, or in situations where there is a danger of being killed

People with bipolar disorder may need help to get help.
· Often people with bipolar disorder do not realize how impaired they are, or they blame their problems on some cause other than mental illness.
· A person with bipolar disorder may need strong encouragement from family and friends to seek treatment. Family physicians can play an important role in providing referral to a mental health professional.
· Sometimes a family member or friend may need to take the person with bipolar disorder for proper mental health evaluation and treatment.
· A person who is in the midst of a severe episode may need to be hospitalized for his or her own protection and for much-needed treatment. There may be times when the person must be hospitalized against his or her wishes.
· Ongoing encouragement and support are needed after a person obtains treatment, because it may take a while to find the best treatment plan for each individual.
· In some cases, individuals with bipolar disorder may agree, when the disorder is under good control, to a preferred course of action in the event of a future manic or depressive relapse.
· Like other serious illnesses, bipolar disorder is also hard on spouses, family members, friends, and employers.
· Family members of someone with bipolar disorder often have to cope with the person's serious behavioral problems, such as wild spending sprees during mania or extreme withdrawal from others during depression, and the lasting consequences of these behaviors.